cat climbing onto the lap of a man drinking tea

Why Does My Cat Sleep With Me And Not My Husband

People in relationships across the globe agree to the fact that pet favoritism can cause problems between partners in a romantic relationship.

Pet favoritism occurs when a shared pet exhibits a preference for one partner over the other.

You may have recently got a cat and within a few months noticed some weird tendencies in your cat’s sleeping behavior. Perhaps your cat prefers to sleep with you more than with your husband (or wife) or vica versa.

Comfort, Safety, and Calmness Is Important To Cats

Cats are very particular in their choice of a place to sleep.

In most cases, cats seek comfort, calmness, and safety when selecting a sleeping spot.


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If, for example, your husband fidgets in their sleep and is likely to toss and turn several times during the night then your cat will feel uncomfortable and potentially unsafe sleeping close to them.

Some cats prefer to sleep on the side of the bed that is closer to the wall since it feels more secure and therefore safer.

Cats Prefer Warm Spots

Cats tend to seek sleeping spots that are warm.

For instance, cats will find a spot in the house that gets direct sunshine as their favorite sleeping spot.

At night, one particular side of the bed may be better shielded from the cold if it is further away from the door and windows.

This could be another reason why your cat may choose to sleep on one particular side of the bed and therefore give the impression that they have a personal preference regarding who they sleep with.

Fondness or Attachment

cat climbing onto the lap of a man drinking tea

There is a high likelihood that your cat may simply have grown fond of the partner who spends more time at home.

If for example you work from home or are at home looking after the kids then you are likely to be the one who feeds the cat most of the time and probably cuddles them more.

Natural Instincts

Cats have instincts that lead them to choose their habitats in a way that increases their chances of survival.

These choices are purely tied to the biology of the animal and are hardly influenced by behavioral training.

Your cat could be choosing a particular side of the bed owing to intrinsic attributes tied to his biology.

This could be a combination of several factors including preference, safety or just a habit.

How To Change Your Cats Sleeping Behaviour

If your cats preference for you over your husband is causing jealousy within your relationship don’t worry, there are some things you can try to help change your cats sleeping behaviour.

The primary thing to do is encourage the partner who the cat is less fond of to take more of an active interest in the cats life.

Seek to feed the cat more frequently and spend time everyday grooming your cat too.

This will help your cat to build more positive associations with the less favoured partner and over time may lead to your cat happily sleeping with them.

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